Dating After 60

If you think dating isn’t for the senior set, think again! Relationships and intimacy are an important part of life at any age and often contribute to happiness, health and well-being. As we enter our senior years we may find ourselves unattached and lonely due to the loss of a loved one. But our population is living longer, staying fitter and healthier into the golden years, and that means there are more seniors looking for companionship.

With so many people unattached later in life, it’s only natural to think about dipping your toes into the dating pool. Keep in mind that your ideas about an ideal partner may have changed over time and you may now have different needs, desires and expectations. Start by defining the kind of relationship you want – such as friendship, intimacy, love, companionship, a committed relationship or marriage –  and then rediscover the art of meeting new people!

Looking for Love in All the Right Places
It’s nice when family and friends introduce you to people, but for those who don’t want to go that route or don’t have that option, here are some other ways to meet senior singles:

• Local Neighborhood Activities – Just like in the old days, neighborhoods are still prime spots to meet not only potential partners but also friends. Libraries, local groups or neighborhood gathering places provide a casual place to share hobbies and interests.
• Senior Centers/Community Centers – Pick up a calendar from your local community center and check out any events or outings. This is a great way to meet others with similar interests right in your neighborhood.
• Senior Living Communities – Many people find companionship in senior living communities. Whether it’s a 55 and older community, independent living or assisted living, being in close proximity to others and sharing meals and activities together may result in companionship, friendship or even love.
• The Internet and Online Dating – There’s one notable way in which the dating scene has changed since most seniors were last dating — the Internet. Online dating is not for everyone but if you like using a computer or a mobile phone it’s one more tool in the toolbox. There are several sites that are built specifically for older adults, among them ourtime.com or www.seniorfriendfinder.com and www.seniorpeoplemeet.com.

Be Realistic
While some things in the dating world have changed, some have stayed the same. Common sense still counts and it’s important to be yourself. There is no hurry, so take your time before entering the dating world again. Here are a few tips:

• Stay flexible – know what appeals to you in a partner or friend, but try not to be too rigid. Sometimes the person you think won’t be a match will surprise you!
• Age is secondary — once you get into your senior years, the actual number of your age becomes less and less significant. Your health and what you do at your age are far more important.
• See beyond the surface — older adults are wise enough to know that looks have little to do with whether someone is going to be a kind, loving and caring companion. Being attractive is more a function of your personality.
• Try a dinner date – more than any other activity, dinner is where older adults feel the isolation of being alone most strongly. Sharing a meal can be an important first step in gauging compatability.
• Think companionship – Whether it’s a dinner date, traveling, playing bridge, engaging in a favorite activity or just relaxing together, many seniors are really look for a companion and nothing more.

Adults over 60 have experienced a lot and already have some ideas about what works in their lives. Let the maturity of your years guide you to be clearer about what you want in a relationship.

The Oscar and Ella Wilf Campus for Senior Living is comprised of Stein Assisted Living, Jaffa Gate Memory Care Neighborhood, Stein Hospice, Wilentz Senior Residence, Wilf Transport, and The Foundation at the Wilf Campus. For more information, contact us at (732) 568-1155, [email protected] or visit us at www.wilfcampus.org.